A Chunk Of My Soul

arcaninetails:

breakfast for dinner is fun when you’re a kid but when you’re an adult it’s just like “yo i ate lunch at 5 PM today and linear time is functionally meaningless”

(via thepacificrimjob)

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via thestoriesaremylife)

voldesnorts:

im-in-wonderland:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS

" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD

voldesnorts:

im-in-wonderland:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS

" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD

(Source: sliceofbri, via thepacificrimjob)

the-ackerman-queen:

musesandlovelydays:

Guys, please I need your help. I know this isn’t Disneyland or DisneyWorld. It’s my dream college. I want to go to FIlm school, I want to become a director and it’s been my dream to become one. I have so much passion for film making It’s ridiculous. My dream college is over 1,101 miles away from where I live. At first my mother and I were not on the same perspective. She thought I was crazy and would never make it. However, the college called me and found interest in what I can do! I knew that was my chance, so I spoke to my mother again, and unfortunately she hardly agreed this time either. Then I thought of Tumblr, we got a kid to go to DIsneyland, and heck we got a girl a bird! So why not college? If this can get to over 100k notes she says she’ll get one step closer in letting me attend my dream college! I know this might be asking a lot but please help me show my mom that I can make it and chase after my dreams! One reblog can help so much! xx 

omg get this beaut to college, this is so important more important than wanting to go to conventions or holiday places this is for COLLEGE 
To my followers: please reblog this, please please please

the-ackerman-queen:

musesandlovelydays:

Guys, please I need your help. I know this isn’t Disneyland or DisneyWorld. It’s my dream college. I want to go to FIlm school, I want to become a director and it’s been my dream to become one. I have so much passion for film making It’s ridiculous. My dream college is over 1,101 miles away from where I live. At first my mother and I were not on the same perspective. She thought I was crazy and would never make it. However, the college called me and found interest in what I can do! I knew that was my chance, so I spoke to my mother again, and unfortunately she hardly agreed this time either. Then I thought of Tumblr, we got a kid to go to DIsneyland, and heck we got a girl a bird! So why not college? If this can get to over 100k notes she says she’ll get one step closer in letting me attend my dream college! I know this might be asking a lot but please help me show my mom that I can make it and chase after my dreams! One reblog can help so much! xx 

omg get this beaut to college, this is so important more important than wanting to go to conventions or holiday places this is for COLLEGE 

To my followers: please reblog this, please please please

(via lilaramona)

kevinkinky-:

fucknobarackobama:

kevinkinky-:

Republicans are scary but republicans under the age of 20 are even scarier

Yeah liberals are terrified of educated youth

did your dad tell you that

(via the-selfie-of-dorian-gray)

*eats you out as a friend*

chiefsimba:

iknownothingisalliknow:

revitiligo:

thepoetspace:

amerikkkanpie:

Blows your back out as your homie

Gotchu walkin funny as a testament to our friendship.

makes you cum in the spirit of comradery

Got ur legs on my shoulders to show u how deep our friendship is

hits it from the back to let you know im here for you

(Source: aterriblehusband, via vhendira)

remusyoulittleshit:

floki-the-littlest-viking:

justplainsomething:

urulokid:

markruffalo:

electro-monk:

Petition for all the Marvel actors to agree that whenever Scarlett gets a blatantly sexist question one of the Chrises just takes it instead.

You have my signature.

this just made my day thank you mr ruffalo

Okay, I checked and that is in fact Ruffalo’s official tumblr. 

So I guess we can say we have a Hulk?

image

(via thestoriesaremylife)

soothisisawkward:

theofficialyahoostaff:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

I hope yahoo knows that absolutely everyone on this site uses google

We do
We use it too.

Oh my God

(via thestoriesaremylife)